Friday, July 22, 2005

My Bag of Eggs

This morning was perfect for early morning breakfast cooking. Lucky for me, I had 12 eggs sitting in a clear plastic egg carton in the fridge. I warmed up the pan and greased it with olive oil. I blindly picked up an egg and cracked it against the metal siding of the kitchen stove area and watched as clear yoke oozed from the edges. I broke the egg apart completely, but the yellow yoke broke in the pan. I took out another egg, did the same thing and the yellow yoke also broke. This never happens. I looked at my eggs one by one in the carton and they were all part way broken or oozing from the bottom. I found two eggs that weren't oozing and before cracking them into the pan, I dumped the half-cooking broken eggs from the pan into the toilet, while manuevering my body to avoid the smoking heat of the pan's outer-rim. Thinking nothing odd of the situation, I cracked the two unbroken eggs into the pan and cooked them.

I used a spatula to slide the cooked sunny-side-up eggs onto a porcelain dish and gathered my toasted french bread from the oven like a hunter and gatherer. The eggs looked awful. The white yoke was peeling and disfigured like craters from the moon. The yellow yokes were starting to break apart. The entire carton of eggs had expired July 13th, over a week ago.

Sadly, I took each egg and one-by-one tossed them into a bag on the ground and listened to them crack on the floor. I proceeded with the entire carton of shit-faced eggs and then tied the bag. I lifted it off the ground and smashed it back onto the floor about 12 times for fun. Serves those eggs right. Now I have them in a bag. I call it my Bag of Eggs.

I ate Genoa Salami with my french bread instead and drank a yogurt smoothie. Damn you eggs. I walked to work and dragged my bag of eggs with me. I carried the bag of eggs about 7 blocks before I touched the bottom of the bag. They were leaking! I angrily smashed the bag of eggs into a trash can like a medieval catapult. All this time, I just wanted to ask the person I would be standing next to in the elevator on my way to work, "Do you want to see my bag of eggs?"

BAG OF EGGS BITCH!

ISTOCKPRO GURU SHOTS:
ACCOMPANIED 2-cents: Make lasting eggs you bunnies


posted by DMKN @ 9:01 AM 0 comments

Friday, July 15, 2005

Why do people do this?

I'm manning the computer lab right now and it seems to me that everyone who walks in at separated time intervals, walks straight across to the same computer to use. And this is the same computer with an annoying red line down the screen. I've seen so many people use this computer, what is it? What makes them naturally walk to the demented computer and use it? It's probably the easiest one to get to?

So I've been using the toilet for more than it was meant to be used. I have been getting downwards of 5 hours to sleep each night and need to wake up earlier to get to work. For the past 3 work days I have taken time-outs in the bathroom to use it for normal needs, but I also use to take a nap on. I'll just nap there for 10 minutes and come back to work refreshed. It's nice, but sleep is nicer.

And now, for some green:



posted by DMKN @ 8:44 AM 0 comments

Saturday, July 09, 2005

Strangers and Me

So while I was at the gym, I came up with an idea. I always run into people that I've seen before and I think they've see me before...but we always pass each other like strangers. Well we are strangers, but slightly acquainted strangers. I want to go up to each person I see on the street that I've spotted somewhere before and ask them, "Do you remember me?"

And now for a face:


posted by DMKN @ 3:31 PM 0 comments